AITJ For Refusing To Do All The Housework While Working From Home? (2024)

“I (30M) work from home, my wife (25F) works in an office nearby.

Yesterday before heading to work my wife asked me to hang up the washing that she’d done at some point during the day.

I went and hung it all up, it was an absolute ton of washing that we’d both neglected, no problem. Fair enough.

I carried on with my workday and got a text from her about being hungry and looking forward to dinner.

I took one look at the kitchen and saw a mountain of dirty dishes and pans and stuff and just sighed to myself.

I’m cooking for her almost every day of the week, the washing also gets left for me to hang otherwise it never gets done.

The dishes are also left for me on top of the cooking, so before I can even cook I have to wash everything.

Even if I cook, she won’t wash up, which is supposed to be the fair way to do things.

I’ve tried bringing this up to her many times, gently and more firmly but regardless of what I say she gets defensive or complains she’s busy or tired or hates doing X chore.

But then it just means everything gets left to me.

I’m so tired of feeling like all these things are purposely being left to the point where I’m forced into doing them.

I really don’t mind cooking or doing my fair share but why am I being left to do EVERYTHING? 🙁

I’ve ended up suggesting eating out or just ordering takeaway so many times because I can’t stomach the fact I’m doing all the work, it physically makes me feel ill with stress, shame and frustration.

I’ve had to empty the bins out pretty much every time for the past 6 months too otherwise it just piles up and she starts just letting it fall out the top or even worse just scattering things around the bottom of the garbage can.

I picked up 20! TWENTY! Rolled up tissues she’d used and thrown towards the garbage can, missed and just not bothered to pick up the other day.

Her dirty clothes are all over the floor, so if I don’t put them in the machine they’ll just stay there until I inevitably have to hang them again.

Reaching my wits end.

Yes I work from home, but I’m working, it doesn’t mean I do everything…

She’ll come home, eat the food I cooked, go on her phone, sleep for like 12 hours, go to work and the cycle repeats. No attempt to help. I really don’t get it.

I’ve suggested buying a dishwasher and she hates the Idea because apparently we’ll also need to clean that or it’ll never get emptied or something like that

She came home last night, woke me up and seemed pissed that there was no dinner.

I told her that I’m not doing everything and if she wants dinner then she can clean the dishes.

She got majorly pissed and accused me of “counting everything that we do”.

She also said that “she never told me that I have to do it”.

She stormed off to bed and we both went to sleep without food.

She purposely slept on the opposite end of the bed to me.

This morning I woke up and it looks like she’s cooked food for herself and only herself at some point during the night.”

Another User Comments:
“NTA, your wife is both entitled and manipulative. She knows that you will eventually cave and do most all of the chores, which, quite frankly, you have done up until now. It is time for you to sit down and communicate some very resonable boundaries where the division of chores is concerned. I would also add that you should demand that you guy’s attend marriage counseling in order to learn how to establish better communication and effecting boundaries and consequences for those boundaries being ignored.” Grannywine

Another User Comments:
“She’s defensive rather than curious and concerned about your feelings. Because of this I would recommend couples therapy if you want to maintain a relationship with her. Is there anything difficult going on in her life? Is this unlike her? Is work stressful? f so then perhaps try to chat with her on day she doesn’t have work. That said if you do not have children, perhaps evaluate what value you gain from this relationship. Does she contribute to your happiness?” HAND_HOOK_CAR_DOOR

Another User Comments:
“NTA. Not only is your wife not doing her fair share of housework but also she is disregarding your feelings on the matter. If she lived alone, she would have to do the chores that she is refusing to do now. Ann Landers used to tell similarly overworked wives to ask themselves: “Am I better off with him in my life or with him outside of it?” You should do the same.” Individual_Ad_9213

AITJ For Refusing To Do All The Housework While Working From Home? (2024)

FAQs

Should I do more housework if I work from home? ›

While you may have more flexibility to contribute to chores and obligations during the day, don't let others take advantage of your work situation. Set clear boundaries, make chore lists so all the work isn't being dumped on you, treat your home office like any office, and keep regular hours.

How to get energy to clean? ›

How to Clean Your Home When You Have No Energy
  1. Start with inspiration. Sometimes when the body feels weak or tired the problem isn't mere exhaustion. ...
  2. Stay fed. ...
  3. Make a list. ...
  4. One step at a time. ...
  5. Use the right tools. ...
  6. Delegate tasks. ...
  7. Establish a 'clean as you go' rule. ...
  8. Clean efficiently.

How to motivate yourself to do housework? ›

12 Smart (and Foolproof!) Ways to Motivate Yourself to Clean
  1. Set a five-minute timer. Try to do as much as you can in that five minutes. ...
  2. Plan a party. ...
  3. Create a triage box. ...
  4. Turn on some music. ...
  5. Use a reward system. ...
  6. Imagine a clean space. ...
  7. Connect with your why. ...
  8. Add cleaning to your daily ritual.

Is it healthier to work from home or office? ›

Some workers thrived in the remote environment, citing more time for healthy behaviors, including exercising and bonding with family, while others became less active, gained weight and reported feelings of isolation and depression.

How often should you move when working from home? ›

Stand up and move while working

While this won't be enough to tackle weight loss, replacing two hours sitting each day with standing can burn up to 130 calories a week, and may improve concentration. Standing more often during your day may also improve glucose, insulin levels, and blood pressure in the long term.

Why am I so unmotivated to clean? ›

Here are some common reasons: I'm tired – This is a big one! At the end of the day (or week), cleaning might be the last thing you want to do. It's overwhelming – You might not know where to start, and it can feel like cleaning up will take forever.

How to do chores when you don't want to? ›

Turn on some music. I love turning on some music on my phone and putting on my headphones so I can crank it up. It makes the time go by much faster and even makes it a bit, dare I say…

How to clean when you're exhausted? ›

10 Tips on Cleaning When You're Too Fatigued
  1. Let go of unneeded items. Purge your belongings. ...
  2. Do a small amount each day. If you have the energy, do a small task that day. ...
  3. Take a seat. ...
  4. Use the right tools. ...
  5. Have designated spots for everything. ...
  6. Hydrate. ...
  7. Don't put it down, put it away. ...
  8. Make a list.
Jun 16, 2022

Why do I have no motivation to do anything at home? ›

A lack of motivation is a common symptom of depression. It can also be linked to other mental illnesses, like anxiety. So it's important to consider whether your mental health may be affecting your motivation level.

What is it called when you have no motivation to do anything? ›

What Is Apathy? Apathy is when you lack motivation to do things or just don't care much about what's going on around you. Apathy can be a symptom of mental health problems, Parkinson's disease, or Alzheimer's disease. It often lasts a long time.

Why do I procrastinate cleaning house? ›

"When life feels busy and messy, the last thing we want to do is deal with more messiness—especially the pesky tasks in our lives. This can lead to an unconscious buildup of resentment toward our big and little cleaning tasks."

Why am I avoiding cleaning my house? ›

If you don't clean your house, it might mean you are busy and have little time to clean and organize. It might be a sign that you have too much stuff. Or it might be the result of having young kids in the house who are usually not motivated to clean up after themselves.

What is the clean mama system? ›

The Weekly Tasks

These tasks take 10-30 minutes a day. Monday we clean bathrooms, Tuesday we dust, Wednesday we vacuum, Thursday we wash floors, Friday we do anything we didn't get to, and on Saturday we wash sheets + towels. Sunday we rest!

How do working moms keep a clean house? ›

Housekeeping Tips for the Working Mom
  1. Clean as you go. The best way to keep chores from piling up is to clean up after yourself. ...
  2. A time for everything. Make time before you go to bed for small cleaning tasks. ...
  3. Work out the clutter. Clutter is the biggest problem for most households. ...
  4. Get organized. ...
  5. Enlist the help of others.

How can I get out of the house more when working from home? ›

How to tackle WFH loneliness
  1. Make plans. You might prefer sitting at home instead of commuting, but changing things won't hurt. ...
  2. Reach out. It's too easy to cut yourself off when working from home. ...
  3. Exercise. ...
  4. Coworking space. ...
  5. Get a pet. ...
  6. Connect online. ...
  7. Chat to coworkers. ...
  8. Meditate.

Do people get more done working from home? ›

It's true that widespread studies based on standard measures of efficiency have found that fully remote employees are 10% to 20% less productive than those working on company premises. Challenges related to communications, coordination and self-motivation may be factors in the decline.

Do you save more money working from home? ›

In a 2022 survey by FlexJobs, 45% of remote workers reported saving at least $5,000 a year. One in 5 reported saving $10,000 a year. The savings average out to about $6,000 a year.

Does working from home make you happier? ›

A recent study reported in Forbes found that “workers who worked from home 100% of the time were 20% happier on average than those who didn't have the ability to work from home.” That study also found “a strong correlation between work happiness and overall happiness.” Another study found that “people who have the ...

References

Top Articles
Latest Posts
Recommended Articles
Article information

Author: Jamar Nader

Last Updated:

Views: 5255

Rating: 4.4 / 5 (55 voted)

Reviews: 94% of readers found this page helpful

Author information

Name: Jamar Nader

Birthday: 1995-02-28

Address: Apt. 536 6162 Reichel Greens, Port Zackaryside, CT 22682-9804

Phone: +9958384818317

Job: IT Representative

Hobby: Scrapbooking, Hiking, Hunting, Kite flying, Blacksmithing, Video gaming, Foraging

Introduction: My name is Jamar Nader, I am a fine, shiny, colorful, bright, nice, perfect, curious person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.